America Gang Bangs its own Citizens

Fearing Up for #FATCA– with all Necessary Propoganda from the Administration

As the administration and friends were looking for someone else to fund both their deficit and their new domestic jobs bills (such as 2010 HR 2847 Jobs for Mainstreet Act), they looked around for new ways to get money from people they didn’t like. However, they needed to get it from people who couldn’t fight back. They also needed to make sure that no one else would come in and defend those people.

G.Obombda Barracks (G.O.B. or OB for short) asked his team: “What is the largest segment of US citizens that can’t fight back?” His team answered: “There are 7.6 million US citizens living outside the USA, and we make it difficult for them to vote–as difficult as we can, that is”

OB: “Any others?” Team: There are 10’s of millions of legal immigrant residents, whom we don’t need to please because most of them can’t vote.

OB: “Is that all you got?” Team: “Course not—they all got spouses and kids”

OB: “Better. But not good enough.” Team: “A bunch of ’em got business partners, too”

OB: “What else can you get me?” Team: “We can get you entire families overseas with green cards”

OB: “Looking better and better.” Team: “And their green cards don’t even need to be active or usable.”

OB: “I like it. Let’s call them all “US Persons” What else?” Team: “Here’s the best part–they don’t have to BE those things, they just need to be SUSPECTED to be those things”

OB: ” ‘Those things’, what do you mean? ” Team: “They only need to be overseas and be SUSPECTED to be US citizens, or Green card holders, or spouses, or business partners overseas. And they only need to be SUSPECTED to be immigrants in USA. We call it ‘indicia‘ ”

OB: “OK, that sounds to be about the right percentage of US persons we could gang bang. How many would say we then got total?” Team: “Looks like it could be about 50 mil. We should be able to kick some ass with that advantage, don’t you think? 300 mil against 50 mil? ”

OB: “Yup. But let’s work out how we are going to take care of the Homees. I gotta cover my back from my own Homees. We need to eliminate resistance. We’ll get to that in a minute. What can we get outta these bums?” Team: “Well, they don’t really have all that much, but don’t tell that to the Homees”

OB: “That’ll never happen. But remember–I’m callin’ the shots,  askin’ the questions, and tellin’ people what to say. You got that?” Team: ” “Got it boss”

OB: “Glad we got that straight. How much can we get out of ’em” Team: ” Well, not much, these are just normal schmucks. The official estimate is right here on page 11 –it’s only $115 million total for the years 2014 to 2016.”

OB: “What? I gave you a job here and you bring me piddly-ass little numbers like that?. Get me someone who can give me some real numbers. Fire that guy.” Team: “I got a study here that says $8.9 billion over 10 years”

OB: “Yeah, that’s good enough to feed to the opposition lackeys—go out and get some half-ass lackey to fund some bullshit study. Who else?” Team: “I’ll bring up the bill in the House, I can say $100’s of billions, We’re got access to a whole bunch of zeroes.”

OB: “Make it be. Next?” Team: “I’ll take it up in the Senate, I can say $trillions”

OB: “Now that’s better–you’re gonna go somewhere. Not sure where, but somewhere. How the hell are we gonna play this with the Homees?” Team: “Well sir, we got the media. All the left and quite a bit of the right, too.”

OB: “So what?” Team: “Well, some can say $trillions, some can say $hundreds of trillions. We got economist writers—they like a good whopper–and we got a couple of ’em sleeping in your spare bedrooms. We got the ‘justice’ memers-they’re always in for some ‘fair’ newsspeak for the Homees. We got the Patriots—what better than to go up against the Ex-Patriots.”

OB: “Ok, we got the players. What’s the play?” Team: ” Well, sir, we uh, we uh, we go these old laws—one of ’em is this taxation thing from about 1864 where we can tax people who don’t even live here—kinda like Iowa taxing people who live in Georgia—just because they were born in Iowa. Nobody really knows about it, and its actually, uh, sir, its kind of unbelievable cause nobody in any other country does taxes like that. And nobody knows about it either. And, uh, its not really a very good law cause it taxes people that don’t live here, for services they don’t get, and……”

OB: “Speak up man, didn’t your father teach you how to dream like him? We don’t have any problems in this big White House, all we got here are importunities. Do you think any American believes anything else than every cockroach in the world owes taxes to America? Speak up, and borrow some cajones from my Secretary of State—she’s got more than she needs.” Team: “ well, uh, sir, we uh got this other, uh law…uh, yeah, its really a law, it’s uh, it’s uh, it’s a little unconstitutional, and it’s uh, it’s uh, it’s a little unknown. You know, like, nobody knows about it. The IRS runs it, and they don’t even know about it. It sounds kind of funny, sir, kind of like FUBAR. It’s uh, it’s uh, it’s called FBAR. It’s supposed to be for evil tax evaders in the USA who are hiding money, but uh, but uh, sir, it’s written to mean also that all of those people you are talking about are affected by it too. Here, sir—-read the fine print”

OB: “God, man, you talk too much. The reason that I put up with you is that you come up with great new ways to screw people that can’t fight back. These are real laws aren’t they–they sound fake, but are they really written in a way we can use them?” Team “uh, yes sir, they are—they haven’t been used in a long time and they are pretty unbelievable, but yeah, they are laws”

OB: “This guy is useful. Don’t fire him. How can we use this?” Team: “Well sir, these are stupid laws, and they are old, but they are laws like the 77,000 other laws we have. Everybody is supposed to follow them, even if nobody knows about them”

OB: “I think you guys might be on to something” Team “Thank you sir, it’s not very often that you give us compliments”

OB: “How about ‘Law Breakers’ ? That oughta get the Homees worked up over this, whaddya guys think?” Team: “ uh, well, uh, that’s uh pretty good sir, you really are a good boss”

OB: “That’s it guys—make it be—call ‘em all ‘Law Breakers’ ” Team: “ yeah, yeah, hurray, uh.”

Aide: “pssst—sir, can you think of something that sorta rhymes with Laxanator?”

OB: “Laxanator, dat’s a gator, vacuumator, uh, um…..Tax Evader. That’s it. Tax Evader. We shall call 50 million people Tax Evaders. What a brilliant idea that I have come up with! 50 million US persons are all Tax Evaders. Go out and tell the Legislators. Tell the media. Get it out to 300 million Homees that there are 50 million Tax Evaders out loose and running outside USA. Don’t stop there! Tell the World! 50 million US citizens are all Tax Evaders. Go find them! Go FATCA them. Go FBAR them.“

OB: “This could be my second greatest accomplishment, just behind ACA. Just think of it, I persuaded the entire country of USA and the entire world that all US citizens that don’t live in USA are all Tax Evaders!”

OB: “I will go down in history. I am the first leader of a world power that has successfully negatively branded 15% of my population. And it is all to the benefit of 300 million of my Homees. I will live in infamy!”

OB: “My Homees–go out and kick some ass! Go get those Tax Evaders! They’ve left you! Go get them. Track them down. Make them pay! Chase them out! They will pay for your deficit and fund your jobs programs! Just search them out and find them and I’ve got a experienced team to do the rest!” Team: “Sir, uh, we are expecting some resistance from the opposing party”

OB: “You call that resistance? Don’t you know how this works? Just say that they are protecting tax cheats. Sick the media on them. They’ll be out of a career in no time. We’ll make Democrats out of them.” Team: “Sir, there’s also that Supreme Court thing—sometimes we don’t have the full majority there, yet”

OB: “Nonsense. We’ve got money out the whazoo. If we don’t have enough of our own, we’ll hit up the compliance industry for some of their profits. We’ll outspend them 20 to one.” Team: “Hurrah. Hurrah. Hurrah”

G.Obombda Barracks has succeeded to do what no other world leader has ever succeeded to do. He has mobilized the entire world against a significant segment of his own citizens— To search them out and find them and to pay him money. He has managed to control the media and to give them negative labels. He has managed to cut down all opposition with his propaganda. No other world leader has been so successful at Gang Banging his own citizens.

No other leader in the world has been successful at mobilizing the entire world’s media and all of the governments of the world against his own citiziens.

G.Obombda Barracks shall go down in infamy.